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Archive | Lighter Wyn

Dear Abby at a loss for words

Dear Abby A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is a middle-aged gym teacher and the other is a social worker in her mid-twenties. These two women go everywhere together, and I’ve never seen a man go into or leave their apartment. Do you think they could be Lebanese? Dear […]

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Ancient Wisdom Adjusted to Modern Demands

The tribal wisdom of the Plains Indians, passed on from generation to generation, says: “When you discover that you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount.” However, in government, and elsewhere, more advanced strategies are often employed – these include, but are not restricted to, the following: 1. Buying a stronger […]

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Women over 40

This article is erroneously attributed to Andy Rooney, an old-time American broadcaster. The true author is in fact Frank Kaiser, who wrote this in 2000. Women over 40 As I grow in age, I value women who are over forty most of all. Here are just a few reasons why: A woman over forty will […]

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Fees for service

Those who are still uncertain as to whether charging fees is more risky than being paid commission should consider the following example from the second oldest profession in the world: A new client sees a famous lawyer. “How much do you charge?” The lawyer replies: “I charge $200 to answer three questions!” “Well that’s a […]

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Burglary in Florida (USA)

Trust the Yanks to come up with this gallows humour: Burglary in Florida (USA) When Southern Florida resident Nathan Radlich’s house was burglarized recently, thieves ignored his wide screen plasma TV, his VCR, and even left his Rolex watch. What they did take, however, was a white box filled with a grayish-white powder. (That’s the […]

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Applying for a position

A drunk with a ragged, dirty look came in to apply for the position. The director of the winery wondered how to send him away. He gave him a glass to drink. The drunk tried it and said: “It’s a Muscat, three years old, grown on a north slope, matured in steel containers. Low grade, […]

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Now that I'm older, here's what I've discovered:

  1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it. 2. My wild oats are mostly enjoyed with prunes and all-bran. 3. I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart. 4 Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded. 5 Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded. 6 If […]

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Make up your mind

I was in my back yard trying to launch a kite. I threw the kite up in the air, the wind would catch it for a few seconds, then it would come crashing back down to earth. I tried this a few more times with no success. All the while, my wife is watching from […]

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Not Entirely True

Not Entirely True Bob, a 70 year old, extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very appealing 25 year-old blonde who knocks everyone’s socks off with her youthful appearance and charm. She hangs on Bob’s arm and listens intently to his every word. His buddies at the club […]

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