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Honesty is the best policy

Police are called to an apartment and find a woman holding a bloody 5 iron standing over a lifeless man. The detective asks, “Ma’am, is that your husband?”

“Yes” says the woman. “Did you hit him with that golf club?” “Yes, yes, I did.” The woman begins to sob, drops the club, and puts her hands on her face. “How many times did you hit him?” “I don’t know five, six, maybe seven times…..just put me down for a five.

Dead lucky

A golfer teed up his ball on the first tee, took a mighty swing and hit his ball into a clump of trees. He found his ball and saw an opening between two trees he thought he could hit through. Taking out his 3 wood, he took a mighty swing. The ball hit a tree, bounced back, hit him in the forehead and killed him.

As he approached the gates of Heaven, St. Peter asked, “Are you a good golfer?” The man replied:

“Got here in two, didn’t I?”

Not the way to start…

The bride was escorted down the aisle and when she reached the altar, the groom was standing there with his golf bag and clubs at his side.

She said: “What are your golf clubs doing here?”

He looked her right in the eye and said, “This isn’t going to take all day, is it?

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