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Archive | Lighter Wyn

Garden Snakes can be Dangerous

Green Tree Snakes  (Dendrolaphis punctulata) can be dangerous. Yes, tree snakes or grass snakes, not brown snakes or taipans. A couple in Townsville, Australia, had a lot of potted plants. During a recent cold winter (for Townsville that is), the wife was bringing some of the valued tender ones indoors to protect them from the […]

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Bless me Father…

An elderly Italian man who lived on the outskirts of Rimini, Italy, went to the local church for confession. When the priest slid open the panel in the confessional, the man said: “Father … During World War II, a beautiful Jewish woman from our neighbourhood knocked urgently on my door and asked me to hide […]

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Irish Mirth

Definition of an Irish husband: He hasn’t kissed his wife for twenty years, but he will kill any man who does.  Murphy told Quinn that his wife was driving him to drink. Quinn thinks he’s very lucky because his own wife makes him walk. The late Bishop Sheen stated that the reason the Irish fight […]

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Stiff Upper Lip English

On a train from London to Manchester, an Australian is berating the Englishman sitting across from him in the compartment: “You English are so stuffy. You set yourselves apart too much. You think your stiff upper lip puts you above the rest of us.” “Look at me… I’m ME! I have Italian blood, Greek blood, […]

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‘Mayday! Mayday!’

This guy takes his new boat down to Cape Town from Jo’burg for a fishing trip. On his way back with the boat, his 4×4 breaks down outside Beaufort West.     He tries all he can but the 4×4 just doesn’t want to go anymore. He tries his cell – no reception. After standing […]

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The Obedient Wife

There was a man, who worked hard all his life, saved all of his money – and was a real miser. Just before he died, he said to his wife…’When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to […]

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A Lesson in Irony…

The Food Stamp Program, administered by the U.S. Department of Agriculture, is proud to be distributing this year the greatest amount of free Meals and Food Stamps ever, to 46 million people. Meanwhile, the National Park Service, administered by the U.S. Department of the Interior, asks us “Please Do Not Feed the Animals.” Their stated […]

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THE THREE NUNS

THREE NUNS WERE ATTENDING A RUGBY FINAL… THREE MEN WERE SITTING DIRECTLY BEHIND… BECAUSE THEIR HABITS WERE PARTIALLY BLOCKING THE VIEW, THE MEN DECIDED TO BADGER THE NUNS HOPING THAT THEY’D GET ANNOYED ENOUGH TO MOVE TO ANOTHER AREA… IN A VERY LOUD VOICE, THE FIRST GUY SAID, “I THINK I’M GOING TO MOVE TO […]

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Sibling Logic

Sibling Logic Teacher to Billy: “Billy, if you have five sweets and your sister asks for one, how many will you have left?” Billy: “Five.”  

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Tour de Farce

Two Irishmen were sitting in a pub watching the Tour de France on TV.  Seamus shook his head and asked, “Whoi t’e hell do they do that?” “Do what?” asked Mick. “Go on them boikes for moiles and moiles, up and down t’e hills, round t’e bends. day after day, week after week. No matter […]

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