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How do I love thee

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways

Elizabeth Barrett Browning’s Sonnet 43 is arguably her best known one. It came to mind when Roché Cowley, a regular contributor to our humour section, recently shared the following with me.

What would happen if your clients were asked, by an independent resource, to comment on your relationship with them?

A group of women from Perth, Australia, were at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with their husbands.

The women were asked, “How many of you love your husband?”

All the women raised their hands.

Then they were asked, “When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?”

Some women answered today, a few yesterday, and some couldn’t remember.

The women were then told to take out their cell phones and text their husband – “I love you, Sweetheart.”

Next the women were instructed to exchange phones with one another and read aloud the text message they received in response to their message. Below are 11 hilarious replies.  If you have been married for quite a while, you understand that these replies are a sign of true love.  Who else would reply in such a succinct and honest way?

And if your client has been with you for an extended period of time, which of these responses would apply to your relationship?

  1. Who the hell is this?
  2. Eh, mother of my children, are you sick or what?
  3. Yeah, and I love you too. What’s wrong?
  4. What now? Did you wreck the car again?
  5. I don’t understand what you mean.
  6. What the hell did you do now?
  7. Don’t beat about the bush, just tell me how much you need.
  8. Am I dreaming?
  9. If you don’t tell me who this message is actually for, someone will die.
  10. I thought we agreed you wouldn’t drink during the day.
  11. Your mother is coming to stay with us, isn’t she?

In similar vein is this true story.

Aubrey van der Westhuizen, a gritty financial adviser in Springbok was hauled over the coals for making a disparaging remark about another adviser who had entered his holy turf, selling unlisted shares. This was long before the days of property syndication.

“Aubrey, he says that his clients say you called him a crook,” said the chair.

Aubrey: “Hy het nie kliënte nie. Hy het net slagoffers.”

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