Fools rush in

A Department of Agriculture representative stopped at a farm and talked with an old Afrikaans farmer. He told the farmer, ‘I need to inspect your farm.’

The old Afrikaner said, ‘OK Boet, but doesn’t goes in that field over there.’

The Agriculture representative said, ‘Mister, I have the authority of the Government with me. See this card? The card means I am allowed to go WHEREVER I WISH on any agricultural land. No questions asked or answered. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand?’

The old farmer nodded politely and went about his farm chores. Later, the old farmer heard loud screams and saw the Agriculture Rep running for the fence and close behind was the farmer’s huge-horned prize bull. The bull was gaining on the Agriculture Rep with every step. The Rep was clearly terrified, so the old farmer immediately threw down his tools, ran to the fence and shouted out…..

‘Your card! Your card, Boet! Shows him your card!

Animal Cruelty

A boy that lives on a farm is awakened by his mother early in the morning on the weekend. She tells him he won’t get breakfast until he does his chores. One of his chores involves feeding all the animals. While feeding the animals he takes out his aggression on some of them – he kicks a chicken, a cow, and a pig.

When he finished his chores his mother just gives him a bowl of dry cereal. When he asks why, his mother tells him that he didn’t get any milk because he kicked the cow. He didn’t get any eggs because he kicked the chicken and he didn’t get bacon because he kicked the pig.

Right then his father comes in and kicks the cat.

The boy looks at his mother and says “Would you like to tell him or should I?”

Jy het gevra daarvoor

Twee seuntjies stry kliphard oor die grootte van hul pa se plase.

Die een seuntjie sê: “My pa se plaas is so groot, as ons so 05h30 met die bakkie vertrek kom ons eers na skemer by die eerste hoekpaal uit!”

Die tweede een antwoord: “ja, ons het jare terug ook so ‘n ^&* bakkie gehad!”

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