Ambrose Bierce, famous for his Devil’s Dictionary, has a most creative mind. Herewith, some samples of his wit and wisdom:
Sweater, n. Garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
Selfish, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.
Patience – A minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue.
Egotist, n. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.
Pray, v. To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
Cynic, n. A blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are not as they ought to be.
Corporation, n. An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility.
Education, n. That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
Bore, n.: A person who talks when you wish him to listen”
Ocean: A body of water occupying two-thirds of a world made for man – who has no gills.
Fidelity, n. A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one’s voice.