As the old saying goes: “Never argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level, and beat you with experience every time.” The following responses will at least help you maintain the moral high ground.
Ahhh! I see the mess-up fairy has visited us again! (OK, I substituted the real word with “mess”)
I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.
How about never? Is never good for you?
I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I’m really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
I’ll try being nicer if you’ll try being smarter.
I’m out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
I don’t work here. I’m a consultant.
It sounds like English, but I can’t understand a word you’re saying.
I can see your point, but I still think you’re full of bull.
I like you. You remind me of me when I was young and stupid.
You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don’t give a darn.
I’m already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
Thank you. We’re all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
The fact that no one understands you doesn’t mean you’re an artist.
Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
Dankie aan Willie Opperman in Oos-Londen vir hierdie bydrae.