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Holding her own

A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch with two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says ‘I’m on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it’s today.’

The bartender says: ‘Well, since it’s your birthday, I’ll buy you a drink. In fact, this one is on me.’

As the woman finishes her drink the woman to her right says: ‘I would like to buy you a drink, too.’

The old woman says: ‘Thank you. Bartender, I want a Scotch with two drops of water.’

‘Coming up’ says the bartender. As she finishes that drink, the man to her left says: ‘I would like to buy you one, too.’

The old woman says: ‘Thank you. Bartender, I want another Scotch with two drops of water.’

‘Coming right up’ the bartender says. As he gives her the drink, he says: ‘Ma’am, I’m dying of curiosity. Why the Scotch with only two drops of water?’

The old woman replies: ‘Sonny, when you’re my age, you’ve learned how to hold your liquor…

Holding your water, however, is a whole other issue.’

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