It’s 2012 and it’s the Olympics in London . A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishman want to get in, but they haven’t got tickets.

The Scotsman picks up a manhole cover, tucks it under his arm and walks to the gate. “McTavish , Scotland,” he says, “Discus” and in he walks.

The Englishman picks up a length of scaffolding and slings it over his shoulder. “Waddington-Smith , England” he says, “Pole vault” and in he walks.

The Irishman looks around and picks up a roll of barbed wire and tucks it under his arm.

“O’Malley, Ireland, ” he says, “Fencing.”


A guy walks towards the Olympic village in London, carrying a long pole in a bag over his shoulder.

Your typical inquisitive Limey taps him on the shoulder and says:

“ Excuse me , but are you a pole vaulter?

“ No, I am hactually a Rhussian, but ghow did you know my name vas Walter?“

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