He was patiently waiting and watching the traffic cop on a busy street crossing. The cop stopped the flow of traffic and shouted, ‘Okay, pedestrians.’ Then he’d allow the traffic to pass.
He’d done this several times, and Paddy still stood on the sidewalk.
After the cop had shouted, ‘Pedestrians!’ for the tenth time, Paddy went over to him and said, ‘Is it not about time ye let the Catholics across?’
An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest’s breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.
He says, ‘Sir, have you been drinking?’
‘Just water,’ says the priest.
The trooper says, ‘Then why do I smell wine?’
The priest looks at the bottle and says, ‘Good Lord! He’s done it again!’
Irish underwater wreck explorers were amazed to find that, after 100 years of lying dormant on the seabed, the Titanic’s swimming pool was still full.
Scotsman splashes out
My wife and I walked past a swanky new restaurant last night.
“Did you smell that food?” she asked. “Incredible!”
Being the nice guy I am, I thought, “What the heck, I’ll treat her!”
So we turned and walked past it again.